At the monastery yesterday, the monk explained how people form images of others in their minds, and those images crystallize. For example, older family members may treat you as if you were still a child, because in their mind they still see you as a child.
This …
read more"You can't win the lottery without buying a ticket" - wisdom shared with me this week.
I have spent my adult life minimizing risk in favor of the safety of routine. I have bought few "lottery tickets," whether for small and large "jackpots." When I have, it's usually …
read moreI am approaching one year in a 12 step fellowship. As fate would have it, I also just wrapped up Step 12. While not easy to write about publicly, I want to take the opportunity to reflect on my experiences in the program.
A nasty breakup led …
read moreIndecision plagues me. I am planning a trip to a conference for my team, and have to pick the hotel. Thankfully, the conference recommends a few hotels. Not so thankfully, the options are mostly identical.
Let's start at the beginning. I believe there's a spectrum of indecision …
read moreAs a follow up to my travel guidelines, I want to share some practical tips from my experience.
I'm paying a nice chunk of change to travel, so I will invest some time in planning ahead: tourist attractions, tourist pitfalls, etc.
Reddit and youtube travel vlogs …
read moreI am traveling in Europe, and feeling inspired to reflect on some of my guidelines for travel. These are not hard and fast rules - they are guidelines, or philosophies.
In Barcelona there was a restaurant that served the most incredible hummus (in fact the restaurant …
read moreTo me, humility means being teachable. That is, I don't have all the answers, I'm not immune to making mistakes.
Recently it has helped me to pay attention when my instinct is to drift off: the impulse of "I know this already, there's nothing new for me."
One instance is …
read moreAt work recently I helped lead an effort to solve a technical problem. I had been aware of this problem for some time, at least a month. However, I was hesitant to take action.
Now that I'm on the other side, I feel I have a better understanding of my …
read moreThis year I progressed my meditation skills from struggling to sit for three minutes to powering through forty five minutes. Here are some misconceptions that helped me to grow.
The idea is simple enough: sit down and do nothing. In practice, however, it was not easy for …
read moreIt's the end of the year, and a time for reflection.
In January I traveled to India with my ex-girlfriend, fulfilling a dream of mine. I visited New Delhi and Udaipur. I recall certain moments: the explosion of a transformer, children flying kites, vultures circling a dump, students competing …
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A recurring theme recently has been grace. I think of it as acceptance of my limitations, faults, mistakes, missteps, and more broadly "myself."
I have a number of self-improvement efforts in motion at any given time. A recurring one is internet usage. While I work to be intentional with my …
read moreIn traveling some memories stick out, while others fade.
In Udaipur, I recall the view from the hotel window. The window faced away from the city center. There was a small stream below, where I saw dogs, cows, hogs, horses, and birds. The stream was heavily polluted. Across the stream …
read moreOn a podcast a psychologist explained how jealousy can help one find happiness. The idea is that, for those of us who struggle to discover our sources of happiness, we can re-frame what we're jealous of as potential sources of happiness.
As an example, I am jealous of those who …
read moreI recently read Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman. One story that stood out to me was a conversation between the author and his neighbor. The author, seeing the neighbor repairing a lawnmower, complains that he wishes he were skilled at repairing things too. The neighbor replies, you aren't, because …
read moreA good friend once told me that he avoids the word "should" (as a disclaimer, he also claims I misremember what he says, so I may just be inspired by him, rather than quoting him).
I was reminded of this today when listening to a podcast of a few New …
read moreIn the woods I noticed the crunch of my sandal on the rocky path. I listened to the wind rustle the leaves. I observed the proud posture of the robin. I appreciated the nobility of the lone tree. I witnessed the decay, the rebirth.
I startled a blue jay, who …
read moreWith the wind and cold, a restlessness has come, and I find myself hoarding my last chocolate for the journey back across the mountains - forever getting-ready-for-life instead of living it each day.
This passage, from The Snow Leopard by Peter Matthiessen, reverberates within me.
I find myself writing not what …
read moreA bias that I have come to notice in myself is the immediacy bias. This is bias towards reacting immediately to a stimulus, without consideration for the context or big picture.
A software example is the bug report. This may come in a raw form, like a new error in …
read moreHi, my name is Tristan and I am a stimulation addict. How did this come to happen?
I recently finished Faster by James Gleick. The narrative was fairly chaotic (hehe) and unfocused, but the truth is I failed to understand the lesson until it was made explicit: we've lost the …
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