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“That some of us should venture to embark on a synthesis of facts and theories, albeit with second-hand and incomplete knowledge of some of them – and at the risk of making fools of ourselves” (Erwin Schrödinger)

End of Year Review (2024)

It's once again the end of the year, and a time for reflection once again. This follows my end of year review for 2023.

Travel

I traveled to Amsterdam and Brussels in January/February. This was a bit of a chaotic trip, only about a week, and I was working remotely part time. Amsterdam is a cute European city, with lovely scenery (architecture, canals) - it felt like a great destination to take your romantic partner. In Brussels I attended FOSDEM, my first tech conference. I was pretty overwhelmed with the bustle of the crowds. I found the city to be significantly more grimier and grittier than Amsterdam, though enjoyable and charming in its own way.

In May, my friend/colleague visited the United States for the first time, and we traveled for a couple weeks together. First to Pittsburgh for PyCon, where we joined two other colleagues. While FOSDEM is volunteer run, PyCon has a strong organization backing it, and the difference was clear. PyCon had massive stages in a giant conference center. I found Pittsburgh to be charming, the downtown nestled in between rivers and mountains. After PyCon, my friend and I visited DC, joined by a third friend. That was a blast, I love DC, its small buildings, wide streets, and green spaces encourage me. Back in the greater New York area, we did some NYC tourism.

In July, I took my first solo trip to Gloucester, Mass. It was a quick weekend getaway, a desperate attempt to catch some relaxation and escape the FOMO of others' travel plans. I went whale watching and sat on the beach for a rare Atlantic coast sunset.

In August, I took two trips: first a weekend camping trip, then a trip to visit my brother's family in LA. This was my first time camping, and I had a stressful but enjoyable adventure with friends. In LA I got to visit my young nephew, who is just too adorable.

What a year! In October I traveled to Chicago for my work's yearly management offsite. I enjoyed spending in person time with my team. On the last day, I went on the architecture boat tour, a really unique experience.

I can't summarize my experiences in a paragraph - in November, I went to Thailand for 3 weeks. This was an incredible and life changing experience in so many ways. I will write more about this trip later. For here, I'll just say that this was the most amazing trip I've taken to date.

Books

I read 15 books this year, a decrease from the last. Mainly it was my sci fi reading group that kept me consistently reading throughout the year - I usually tend to read in bursts. My top books from this year:

I want to note that this was my first foray into writing reviews for the books that I read. It made for a good series of blog posts, and joined nicely with the book club discussions.

Writing

I blogged once a week for 7 months, writing more than 30 articles. Wow! That's more than I've ever written before. It has been a learning experience, and a process of trust and letting go. I had set the goal of writing every week, and when I faltered, I wasn't able to pick back up on the momentum - the overdue backlog prevented me from just writing something.

For next year, I want to write, but I will reduce my goal to twice per month. That will reduce the pressure - I would have accomplished that goal this year, actually. If I write more, great.

Career

I continued my job at Rinse. I worked on a number of projects, notably logistics efficiency, and improving system security. I was also assigned two direct reports, my first foray into people management. I have mentored and coached my reports for the past 6 months, culminating in delivering their end of year performance reviews. This has been a rewarding experience, and I'd like to write more about it.

I attended my first two tech conferences this year. Having never attended before, and attending with other conference newbies, I felt fairly overwhelmed: the crowds, the networking, the events. Working remotely it was a lot to lean into suddenly, though I feel much better prepared for the next conference (PyCon '25?).

Projects

I did not work on side projects this year. I started on several, but never got far past the idea phase.

Personal development

Personal development was my main focus for 2024. Reflecting on my 20s, I see how my mental health was my biggest roadblock to success and happiness. In the past year, I regularly attended support groups, and built a support network for the first time in my life. I've met the kindest, most caring and loving people, and nurtured positive, healing friendships with them. I am truly grateful for their support.

I continued attending meditation at my local Buddhist monastery. I sat for my longest meditation, of more than 50 minutes without break. I learned the dharma and started integrating myself into the sangha. The rewards of my meditation practice are stronger emotional resilience, presence and serenity.

I took a break from dating for the first six months of the year, a challenging but immensely rewarding experience. I went on several first dates, and dated two women for 1-2 months each, culminating in a devastating breakup in December. I feel way more confident about dating and relationships than at any point before, having really put in the work on myself. I am excited to put myself out there in 2025.

My experiences with travel this year were wonderful. I have a personal theory, something I haven't found the right words to summarize, that regular vacations and breaks (every 3-6 months) are a crucial step in development. The day to day grind, meditation, journaling, therapy, etc., builds and builds but it's when I take a step out of my normal life that suddenly all of the gains are realized - how about, like slowly revving the engine and then shifting into a higher gear.

Last year's goals

Looking at my goals from last year, let's see how I did:

I struggled to engage in regular physical activity. Reflecting on that, I would like to try to socialize exercise, rather than go it alone - a key learning of mine in mental health that I want to deploy to other areas of my life.

Same for reducing screen time. To be fair, I didn't really play video games at all last year, and that's coming from someone who was a big gamer only a couple years ago. So there's a clear shift in how I engage with technology. Notably, I watched a lot more tv and movies. I also radically changed my internet browsing habits, reducing to nigh zero some really unhealthy content intake. So while the specific goal wasn't met, I would be remiss not to recognize what I did achieve.

Finances and investing - I've left this on autopilot, investing in basic index funds.

Moving abroad, when I turned 30 in a panic I started Spanish lessons with the plan of moving to Barcelona for 3 months or so. I did not follow through on that plan, which I do not feel bad about. Someone wise said to me, be careful that you're running to something, not from something. And I was clearly running away from my emotional pain. I am glad I decided to hunker down in New Jersey, where I have the support to heal.

Next year's goals

Now, what about next year. It's easy for me to load up on goals, aim for the moon in a million different directions. Instead, I'll choose a few priorities.

The best year of my life

This has been a challenging year for me. I've experienced enormous pain and discomfort as I've worked on healing my emotional wounds. I no longer feel so alone, having found and nurtured a support network of loving friends. In so many ways I feel like the same person as a year ago, and yet I see the changes, the light pouring through the cracks. This past weekend I was visited by my ghosts of Christmas past. I am breaking patterns that were previously invisible. Every moment is a rebirth.

Even though this month was emotionally devastating for me, I am standing tall, weathering the storm. As in small, so in the large. This year I stood tall and weathered the storms. I lived the fullest, most intentional, most fearless, most present year of my life.

All of the effort in personal development is an investment into my present and my future. After my 2nd best year of my life in a row, I can't wait for next year - no pressure on myself :)