Blog | Tristan Kernan

“That some of us should venture to embark on a synthesis of facts and theories, albeit with second-hand and incomplete knowledge of some of them – and at the risk of making fools of ourselves” (Erwin Schrödinger)

End of Year Review (2025)

December rolls around once more. It's time to reflect on the year gone by, and the year upcoming. This is the third installment of my end of year reviews.

This was a year of challenges, struggle, inspiration, burnout, revelation, misery and hope.

As a friend put it, God gives us challenges the moment we're ready to face them.

Travel

I traveled to Europe twice this year, once for a work + pleasure trip to the UK and Ireland to attend DjangoCon EU, and then a vacation to Greece. I had a whirlwind time in London, trying to squeeze everything into a few short days; old town Edinburgh was rather sham-touristy and dreary; in Ireland I looked out over the Atlantic from the Cliffs of Mohre. In Greece, I walked alongside my ancient heroes, Socrates, Diogenes, Hercules. I traveled independently, facing my fears and making a splendid trip for myself.

Books

I read 15 books this year. My highlights:

Writing

I exceeded my goal, writing at least two posts per month. Some posts that I am particularly proud of:

Career

I am ending the year having resigned from my job, with the aim to take several months break. I have plenty to write on the experience, so suffice it to say that the greatest surprise for me is the boldness and courage I demonstrated in taking this chance for myself to spend time with myself, get to know myself, and care for myself. In the words of Lester Burnham:

It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about.

Personal development

This continued to be my greatest theme: at one point, I estimated I have been spending about 15 hours a week between journaling, therapy, yoga, meditation, and support groups. Some highlights of this year's achievements:

So much of this work pays dividends in hard to measure ways; without direct comparison to the non-recovered version of myself in the same scenario, I have to validate myself in my new behaviors. Many times I am even taking the same action, but it's my relationship to myself and the behavior that has changed.

Goals

Looking back, I hit many of my goals from last year, notably:

For the upcoming year, I feel less compelled to make a list of specific targets. On reflection, this has been my trend: from a very long list, to a short, thematic list, to a more flexible approach. I've learned, and proven to myself many times over, that I succeed at strict task-oriented projects. My next challenge is to learn to navigate and live in ambiguity. Specifically, and quite generically, I want to practice living with intention. So much of my default behaviors tend towards productivity-, resource-, or task-oriented mindsets. As a practical example, rather than starting a Saturday with a todo list, I want to check in with myself throughout the day, and act in a way that honors myself, honors the "God of loving kindness", not the "God of productivity."

To that end, I want to trial the following behavioral changes:

As for more visible goals, I'd like to end the year working a hybrid job in the city, living in a new apartment, having continued reading and writing and traveling and making new experiences for myself.

Wrap up

This was one of the hardest years of my life, it's undeniable - as much as I want to deny it! I plan to reward the resilience that I've demonstrated with the time to process and heal. Even writing this post late (thanks stomach virus on new years eve!), and feeling the brunt of depression manifest, I feel my conscious contact being restored, and with it gratitude and hope for the new year.